It's funny to me how enlightenment can make you one of the most powerful people in the world. Yet, usually everyone is to busy to notice. I usually spend so much time helping others that it doesn't balance the time that I spend on myself. So today I'm spending the day getting rid of my tan lines poolside on a sunny 96 degree day, with a drink, listening to my enlightening music and studying deeper into the depths and potentials of theta frequency theory. I think that most people refer to is as theta energy, orgone energy, ki, chi, spirituality,positive thinking, esp, or whatever people feel comfortable calling it. I've called it my Ki for many years. Either way, today it's all about me.

This past weekend I took the dreaded 8 hour road trip to Knoxville to see Storme, Maykyr, and my new pseudo-nephew Ashwin. It was wonderful to see them all. But the trip wasn't all fun & games. I drove down with a bunch of tools so that we could jack up the house because it had termite damage and two pile-ons that sank. Although this sounds as undersirable a job as you could have with a house, add insult to injury and know that they don't have a basement. They just have an 18" crawl space in which to drag all the materials, tools and to work out of. It was brutal laying under a house as you jack up 6-8 tons of weight while you are directly under it. I think that each time I do something like this, I redefine the meaning of the word "stress". But I got a hell of an ab workout! hehehe We finally jacked up the middle 30' of the house a little more than 3" after 8 hours of sweat, dirt, and cursing. Then I spent Sunday recooperating and listening to all the noises of the house trying to settle straight. It was nice though. I called up my friend Christine, who is in the Nuclear Engineering program at the University and we all hung out with dinner over some mead. It was just enough rest and recovery for the drive home yesterday. I liked the company, but it's hard to feel motivated sometimes when you take a long weekend and return more exhausted than when you left. But I still had to go and tell Ashwin the story of "The Three Little Midgets"... hehehe

So I've been on a modified version of my old work out routine and I've dropped a good bit of weight in the last 4 months. But I have this shelf of old clothes that I way outgrew but were too attached to get rid of. They've been sitting on a shelf in my dressing room for over a year. I have a pretty critical self-image, so I'm not really proud, but I am excited to say thay I just slipped into my old shrunken Jenko's and they fit perfect, which means that entire shelf of clothes fit again. Hurray! New (old) wardrobe! Fighting with my oral fixation habit to just constantly munch on food has helped me lose weight along with the food change and extreme exercise, but has definitely made my oral fixation 10x more intense. So I'm smoking like crazy and eating mints like I'm a rockstar with some crazy addiction. And I'm playing with my tongue barbell like a talented pornstar. hehehe It's always something.

Current Mood: amused

It's kind of strange how once in a while life can completely fall apart. I can usually handle situations like this with grace and efficiency but for some reason I lost it on Friday. There is something inherently wrong with that last statement. There is rarely only one reason for losing it. Usually I find that it's a culmination of things and that the last thing was as emcic put it "the straw that broke the camel's back". So I stayed home rather than go out to spread this funk. For those that didn't see me this past weekend, don't worry. I'm doing very well now. And please don't think that I was hiding away and bottling up this yuckiness. Because I wasn't. Actually, I took the time to pay attention to this and completely embrace it so that I could understand it. And the sources of influence became apparent. I had skipped my meditations, working out, and vitamins for three days. I just "got caught up with life" and forgot to take of myself. I fixed that and everything came back into balance. I have to make taking care of myself more of a priority, since I have noone doing that for me. "Big dummy! What were you thinking? Look in the mirror! There's your reminder!" (note to self) Now I'm finally off to go and pick up my paycheck that my client was giving me the run around with since last Monday. It's a good thing because there is more than just me that I'm helping now.

Current Mood: accomplished

So Thursday morning I was almost involved in a high speed accident between a dump truck and a moving truck that was behind me skidding with no stopping distance. Fortunately I was able to slide onto the shoulder between the car in front of me and the concreete divider, giving the moving truck just enough room to skid to a stop about a foot before slamming into the car in front of me. That was particularly close, since I had the welding tanks in the back of the van. Then later in the day I hit my head really hard on the metal track for the garage door. I just got a little bruise and one heck of a headache from it. So I came home, took some advil, a shower, and went to bed. What is interesting about all of this is that I couldn't fall asleep for about an hour, and during that time I thought of some really healthy and enlightening perspectives with some very important things that I was struggling with. Neat how things work...

Current Mood: optimistic

There is a lot of power in practicing what you preach. I have a lot of ideas that may be considered by most as "fantasy" and are dismissed just as easily. But there are undeniable truths in the magickal energies of experiences. For example, I played Rafael the other night in 8 ball. I believe he came in 3rd last year in the U.S. National Amatuer Billiard Tournament. I beat him, because I was willing to delve into a euphoric state of harmony where my body, mind, and soul were heightened. I was pouring out so much energy that I was sweating profusely. And I won. The true joy of it was not in winning, but rather in reactualizing my potential. Another example of that beautiful potential is the mead that was made a month ago at my last mead making gathering. It’s done. Yes, you read it right. It’s done! After 10 days my mead baby went still-born. I panicked. Then I read and reviewed some of the things that I’ve learned and done with live water. So I blessed, charged, and aligned some live water, along with the other things that I did, and brought my twins back to life. I poured Love into them, body, mind, and soul. With my body, I would delve into what it felt like to be in Love and then hugged my babies and projected that feeling into them. With my mind, I had created a romantic fantasy where I fell in Love so deeply, that my cup overflowed. It was so powerfully real that it was almost true. Or maybe it is and I just don’t know it yet. hmmm... I know many things are possible. anyways... Then I would sit here and tell them about how wonderful it was. With my soul, I would delve into and project hope and harmony. And they responded beautifully with extremely active airlocks. Two weeks later I filtered and racked them off. I took my gravity readings and taste tested them. They are done. Brian thinks that this is the best mead that I’ve made yet. I may agree with him. I’m bottling them on Saturday morning and will have a bottle for everyone who helped me make it. This is an undeniable testament to the power of Love. And, I think, a reflection of the power of mine. It’s also something that I do with some of my ropework. Sometimes, it’s not just Shibari. Sometimes it’s a medium that transends.

For those that are interested in starting to learn about the magickal miracles of water, I suggest that you check out this video:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7833758715853620146

Blessings,

Alex

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." --Albert Einstein



Listening to: (Enigma) Beyond The Invisible

Current Mood: indescribable

The fallout from finishing this vision quest that has lasted almost 5 years has settled and I'm left feeling bittersweet about it all. All the things that I knew would happen did. There was the car accident. Yep, I got hit by a car in a hit and run while walking across the street in the crosswalk. There was the family fallout with my parents in the process of getting a divorce. There were about 20 other things that happened, not all of them bad. And there were, are, and will be many good repercussions from these events. Both B&C's were destined to have happy, healthy babies. And they will be fine. One of these children is going to grow up to do something substantial. And the rest was kind of hard to deal with. Accepting that no relationship I pursued during this period would work out. So being my own martyr left me feeling kind of bittersweet about it all, especially because I chose to distance myself from those that I truly cared about so as to protect them from all the negative chaos that ensued. But now that it's all over, I'm finally feel truly free. I almost felt empty from it all, but it really just opened up a clean slate for a new beginning.

A New Beginning...
After all this self-neglect and loneliness, I'm finally free to spend some time on myself. I've picked up the pace on my workout routine to the vicious routine I had when I was ripped. I started advancing my pool game again and won a tournament. But I'm not sure what to do about the loneliness thing. I've really been blessed to have had some great relationships in the past. Now that I'm free of so many burdens, I have the time and drive to engage myself in other areas of my life. Who knows what the future hold for me, but I'm looking with a fresh, vibrant perspective of optimism.

Current Music: (A Perfect Circle) Gravity

The past week has been a real exercise in cosmic harmony. Thursday night was quite nice, but I was kind of beside myself, being that I just went through a rigorous cleansing and have finished an almost five year vision quest. Then Friday I had to make some extreme preparations. I realigned and recharged a lot of my depleted energy, after going into a heavy meditation of self-discovery. I've come to accept many new things, although I'm still kind of sad and depressed about some of them. Then at 11:13 pm I aligned some live water to promote harmony, elegance, grace, and intelligence. Saturday, I planned on doing nothing while the moon was VOC. And so Saturday evening I went out to practice for a tournament that I was in on Sunday. Psy's emerald charm and my herkimer diamond guided me well. So when I got home around 10:30 pm I consecrated them with the water and let them rest overnight. Sunday morning I woke up a little late and hurried to ground, meditate, and drink the water before hurrying to get registered at Fast Eddie's Billiards in Alexandria. It was explosive. (quite literally!) I started my first match at 10 am and around 1 pm, after winning my 3rd straight match, Psy's emerald charm burst and slid into my hand. I was impressed with how much energy it was emanating, so I put it in my right pocket (crossing energy inputs into receptive limbs works just fine). Then I continued to win the next 6 matches straight and finished around 6:10 pm.

So the tally for the day, Alex wins 9 matches in a row and was undefeated, won a silver eagle trophy, a nice black leather jacket that will have my name embroidered on it, a budweiser collectible beer stein, $500 in cash, a couple of patches, and some strange keychain/bottle opener thingy.

This kind of energy work is rigorous, intense, and divine.

Blessings,
Alex

Current Music: (Orchestral Equinox) Fields Behind, Fields Beyond

I'm glad to say that my roommates, Cat and Brian, had a healthy baby girl (Kennedy) on Samhain and now everyone's home from the hospital. She was born 9 lbs 4 oz @ 21". That's huge! And last night (at only 6 days old) she was holding her bottle all by herself! That's just crazy!

I'm just starting on a work stretch that should pay very well. But it means long hours working in a secure building downtown. I may be working a 14 hour shift through Friday night changing a few hundred high security locks that were messed up. But @ $75 an hour, I won't complain much about that shift. :)Well, my 10 min of free time is up. time to go back to work. If anyone need to get a hold of me, call my cell. I won't have time to check my email or much else for now.

Hope all is well adn I'll have to catch up with everyone in two weeks when this work chaos is over.

Blessings to all...

Alex

DC Leather Pride is this weekend. I will be holding a short lecture and class on Rope Bondage 101 - Introduction to rope bondage. Check out the info here

http://www.geocities.com/foresides/DCLP2007.html

Hope to see some of you there!

Blessings,
RopeBoy